What can I say about 2018 that hasn’t already been said? I think I’m just going to quote Greg from Crazy Ex Girlfriend (which I highly recommend if you haven’t see it).
I wasn’t sure if I was actually going to write a year end blog post this year but after sending a list of things I accomplished to my friend Andrea, I decided if any year deserves for me to brag about my accomplishments, it’s this year.
I saw this tweet by a YA author I love, and yes, that about sums it up. It was a year of learning. I learned so hard.
So let’s sum up 2018:
I made not one but two ball gowns this year. I got to live out my fantasy of being a princess. The first one I had help on, but the second one I made all by myself in a week. This was definitely a huge accomplishment for me considering I only started sewing last year. I also made wizard robes for two friends of mine who wore them for their Harry Potter themed engagement shoot, so that was pretty freaking cool.
I also stopped working at coffee shops this year, and am now working full time as a communications coordinator for a non-profit.
This year at FanExpo I had a table where I had 75 of my cup cozy designs. I’m not great at designing stuff myself so it was certainly a challenge. I’m not proud of all of them but I’m proud of myself for trying, and also a lot of them turned out really great. Probably the highlight was getting to sell a Matt the Radar Technician cozy to someone who has cosplayed him. Since FanExpo I’ve also increased sales on my Etsy store which makes me happy. Every time someone leaves me great feedback it fills my heart with joy and makes the whole thing worth it.
I know I already wrote an entire blog post about this, but I would just like to state again that I WROTE A NOVEL. Sorry, don’t mind me while I brag a bit more because writing is really hard. So for those of you who don’t already know (which I’d be amazed if anyone didn’t know at this point) I wrote 50k words in three weeks for National Novel Writing Month. I finished the entire first draft of a novel I’ve been wanting to write for a long time. It’s a complete mess, but that’s what editing is for.
Okay, I’m going to make this brief because I don’t want to go into too many details about the utter mess that was this year. This year was a very personal challenge for me. There was a hospital scare with my Grandmother, there’s been some injuries and other personal issues, and I had a long term relationship end. I hate the phrase “everything happens for a reason” because I think it’s bullshirt. Sometimes bad shirt just happens. It’s how you deal with it that counts. And honestly I probably could have dealt with most of it better, but I’m human and I’m trying.
I’ve already talked about this is my last blog post as well, but it’s an important topic I think deserves repeating. I had quite the battle with depression this year. It started back in March and I was always able to come up with some excuse for why I wasn’t happy. Stress, the stuff I mentioned in the previous section, more stress. There was always an excuse. Until I ran out of excuses. Once I had a moment to catch my breath after preparing for FanExpo I fell into a depressive episode so bad I didn’t really leave my house. For three weeks. It wasn’t until I had a complete sobbing meltdown one night on a friend of mine in her car after a perfectly fun night that I realized I needed help and had to do something.
Distraction had been how I’d been dealing get with depression. Over the summer I read a lot of books and watched a completely ridiculous number of tv shows. And it made me feel good while I was doing it, but it didn’t last.
So I don’t ignore it anymore—I embrace it. I take antidepressants, I journal, I jog, I meditate, I allow myself to feel things (even if my poor friends probably wished I would feel less). I give myself challenges. I did NaNo even during a depressive episode. I’m learning to knit. I’m not hiding this part of myself anymore. I talk about it openly, because it’s nothing to be ashamed of. And I’ve had amazing friends who have supported me and let me cry on them/rant about my feelings.
Bring on 2019!
Since 2018 was a challenge, to say the least, a couple friends have told me that 2019 is going to be my year. So bring it! I’m ready.